I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
