what day is it and did you see me today?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
