all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
