good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
