What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
