I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
There r osticjed everywhere
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Randomize
