Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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