doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
