He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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