Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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