Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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