just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
