This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
