Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
