im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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