Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
