Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
