even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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