Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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