I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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