Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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