the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
