I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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