You smell like stripper and shame
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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