No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
