There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
