i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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