She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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