I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
