She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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