You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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