Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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