I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
