Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
