and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
