I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
