remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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