I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
