don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
