Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
