just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize