In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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