It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
