Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
