your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
