I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize
