If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
