ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
