i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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