if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
