Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
