Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
