Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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