so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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