i don't like sucking hair
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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