You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
