It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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