All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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