her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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