I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
